Two days ago I woke up particularly worried and out of sorts. We’ve have had our share of challenges over the past year, and on Wednesday, my mind was in “panic” mode. While out for a run, my anxious mind kept churning out the “what if’s.” In this case, the “what if’s” were of the negative, life is over, doom and gloom variety. Isn’t it interesting how when faced with a challenge my mind likes to play out all of the negative and scary scenarios? Yet from experience, I also know that challenging times always lead to something better. But yesterday that knowledge wasn’t helping.

On a recent episode of Super Soul Sunday, Alanis Morissette said something along the lines that “we need to become comfortable with discomfort – walking in the dark.” I know this intellectually and yet it doesn’t make the discomfort any easier. How does one get comfortable with discomfort?

I continued on my way, looking at the river, noticing how the leaves are just starting to change, the “what if’s” still yammering away. A deep breath, another step, and more “what if’s,” but they weren’t as loud this time – I was getting a little distracted by my surroundings. I looked up at the sky. The sun was just coming up and the sky was littered with clouds, the sunlight reflecting off the clouds, everything basking in a pinkish/orange glow. It was beautiful and made me pause. And then I resumed my ruminating and worrying. A few minutes later, a bird flying overhead caught my attention, forcing me to look up, and again, I looked at the clouds. They were in a different pattern this time and the color had changed yet again.

“Your mind is like the sky,” floated through my head. That thought didn’t stop my mind; however, something about it made me breathe and calm down. And then I breathed some more. I stopped worrying, instead shifting my focus to how beautiful everything looked – the water reflecting the sun light, the trees gently moving in the wind, the breeze – so perfect for my run.
It is not an easy time right now and yet, the beautiful natural surroundings reminded me that we have so much to be thankful for, right here in this minute. And then another thought occurred to me. My negative “what if’s” are a self-protective measure, helping me to prepare for the very worst (which sometimes comes to pass and often doesn’t). But what if I started focusing on the positive “what if’s” instead and cling to the notion that all the negative crap in my life is not here to hurt me, but instead push me onto my right path? What if this seemed bad but was instead really good? How can things be bad when there is such beauty right outside my front door?

Great things in life don’t come wrapped in neat, little packages, as I’ve learned time and time again.

And so, I am going to work on transforming my “what if’s” by acknowledging the negative ones that float through my mind (Hey, bud I see you), while also making space for the positive “what if’s” (Welcome! C’mon in!). That does not mean things will change overnight, but maybe it will help me shift my focus a little bit. As I work on changing my mind and getting comfortable with discomfort, I will breathe, and remember to open my eyes to all the beauty that surrounds me, because even in our darkest moments, there is beauty if we are open to receiving it.